Ahoy! Mateys!!

porch pirates!?!?

No. I for one, simply don't agree with these kind of asshats being able to hide behind 30

a cool name like "pirates".

Let's start out by calling these jerks exactly what they are. parasitic opportunistic lazy ass thieves who don't even know what it is they are stealing, but are too fucked off to even give a hell Some of the lowest of the lowlife sticky dishonest crooks out there. Shoot I Bet about half the time these slimeballs are stealing toys or clothing for kids and still have no guilt in them, to knock it off .

What they need and deserve is a grade A top shelf ass whooping, but that's a discussion for us to have in private so we don't get the Mrs all upset and all those nosey ears standing up to snitch us out for burying theives.

Now I've been playing around with extra wood scraps and extra siding scraps and building dive really great package catchers or Defence Towers something those idiot thieves can't get into without grabbing everyone's attention or setting off alarms. Basically they are much larger, more secure sturdy and secure places for you to put your packages in for the mailman ir delivery company to pick up or drop off. from the size of a decent sized cabin fridge or shoe box I can about customize anything you might have in mind .It can include your postal box or stand alone .It can have a planter built on too or the sides and it can have lights mounted and it can have an alarm. We can lock it up with a key or pass ide or whatever you like and days you're home it can just be there looking handsome with your house.

Here's some ideas to get you on the boat with me while we load the cannons and blow some of these porch pilates into shark dinner time.Tell me what you think, don't be shy!!

mail safe

mail lockbox

Here's a couple bad boys from Lowes and home Depot. these guys are around 400 to 800 dollars. I can make yours one if a kind and bring that cost down less than a pirate ship

call me

let's talk. then, I gotta get back to working. who has time for all this bullshitting anyways?!

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Zeke's Website Terms

Terms and Conditions

Last updated: January 19, 2021

Please read these terms and conditions carefully before using Our Service.

Interpretation and Definitions

Interpretation

The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear in singular or in plural.

Definitions

For the purposes of these Terms and Conditions:

Affiliate means an entity that controls, is controlled by or is under common control with a party, where "control" means ownership of 50% or more of the shares, equity interest or other securities entitled to vote for election of directors or other managing authority.
Country refers to: Missouri, United States
Company (referred to as either "the Company", "We", "Us" or "Our" in this Agreement) refers to Zeke fixes Everything .
Device means any device that can access the Service such as a computer, a cellphone or a digital tablet.
Service refers to the Website.
Terms and Conditions (also referred as "Terms") mean these Terms and Conditions that form the entire agreement between You and the Company regarding the use of the Service. This Terms and Conditions agreement has been created with the help of the Terms and Conditions Generator.
Third-party Social Media Service means any services or content (including data, information, products or services) provided by a third-party that may be displayed, included or made available by the Service.
Website refers to Zeke fixes Everything , accessible from http://www.zekefixeseverything.blogspot.com
You means the individual accessing or using the Service, or the company, or other legal entity on behalf of which such individual is accessing or using the Service, as applicable.

Acknowledgment

These are the Terms and Conditions governing the use of this Service and the agreement that operates between You and the Company. These Terms and Conditions set out the rights and obligations of all users regarding the use of the Service.

Your access to and use of the Service is conditioned on Your acceptance of and compliance with these Terms and Conditions. These Terms and Conditions apply to all visitors, users and others who access or use the Service.

By accessing or using the Service You agree to be bound by these Terms and Conditions. If You disagree with any part of these Terms and Conditions then You may not access the Service.

You represent that you are over the age of 18. The Company does not permit those under 18 to use the Service.

Your access to and use of the Service is also conditioned on Your acceptance of and compliance with the Privacy Policy of the Company. Our Privacy Policy describes Our policies and procedures on the collection, use and disclosure of Your personal information when You use the Application or the Website and tells You about Your privacy rights and how the law protects You. Please read Our Privacy Policy carefully before using Our Service.

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Our Service may contain links to third-party web sites or services that are not owned or controlled by the Company.

The Company has no control over, and assumes no responsibility for, the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third party web sites or services. You further acknowledge and agree that the Company shall not be responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any damage or loss caused or alleged to be caused by or in connection with the use of or reliance on any such content, goods or services available on or through any such web sites or services.

We strongly advise You to read the terms and conditions and privacy policies of any third-party web sites or services that You visit.

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We may terminate or suspend Your access immediately, without prior notice or liability, for any reason whatsoever, including without limitation if You breach these Terms and Conditions.

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Notwithstanding any damages that You might incur, the entire liability of the Company and any of its suppliers under any provision of this Terms and Your exclusive remedy for all of the foregoing shall be limited to the amount actually paid by You through the Service or 100 USD if You haven't purchased anything through the Service.

To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, in no event shall the Company or its suppliers be liable for any special, incidental, indirect, or consequential damages whatsoever (including, but not limited to, damages for loss of profits, loss of data or other information, for business interruption, for personal injury, loss of privacy arising out of or in any way related to the use of or inability to use the Service, third-party software and/or third-party hardware used with the Service, or otherwise in connection with any provision of this Terms), even if the Company or any supplier has been advised of the possibility of such damages and even if the remedy fails of its essential purpose.

Some states do not allow the exclusion of implied warranties or limitation of liability for incidental or consequential damages, which means that some of the above limitations may not apply. In these states, each party's liability will be limited to the greatest extent permitted by law.

"AS IS" and "AS AVAILABLE" Disclaimer

The Service is provided to You "AS IS" and "AS AVAILABLE" and with all faults and defects without warranty of any kind. To the maximum extent permitted under applicable law, the Company, on its own behalf and on behalf of its Affiliates and its and their respective licensors and service providers, expressly disclaims all warranties, whether express, implied, statutory or otherwise, with respect to the Service, including all implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, title and non-infringement, and warranties that may arise out of course of dealing, course of performance, usage or trade practice. Without limitation to the foregoing, the Company provides no warranty or undertaking, and makes no representation of any kind that the Service will meet Your requirements, achieve any intended results, be compatible or work with any other software, applications, systems or services, operate without interruption, meet any performance or reliability standards or be error free or that any errors or defects can or will be corrected.

Without limiting the foregoing, neither the Company nor any of the company's provider makes any representation or warranty of any kind, express or implied: (i) as to the operation or availability of the Service, or the information, content, and materials or products included thereon; (ii) that the Service will be uninterrupted or error-free; (iii) as to the accuracy, reliability, or currency of any information or content provided through the Service; or (iv) that the Service, its servers, the content, or e-mails sent from or on behalf of the Company are free of viruses, scripts, trojan horses, worms, malware, timebombs or other harmful components.

Some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion of certain types of warranties or limitations on applicable statutory rights of a consumer, so some or all of the above exclusions and limitations may not apply to You. But in such a case the exclusions and limitations set forth in this section shall be applied to the greatest extent enforceable under applicable law.

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The laws of the Country, excluding its conflicts of law rules, shall govern this Terms and Your use of the Service. Your use of the Application may also be subject to other local, state, national, or international laws.

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If You have any concern or dispute about the Service, You agree to first try to resolve the dispute informally by contacting the Company.

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If You are a European Union consumer, you will benefit from any mandatory provisions of the law of the country in which you are resident in.

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If any provision of these Terms is held to be unenforceable or invalid, such provision will be changed and interpreted to accomplish the objectives of such provision to the greatest extent possible under applicable law and the remaining provisions will continue in full force and effect.

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Translation Interpretation

These Terms and Conditions may have been translated if We have made them available to You on our Service. You agree that the original English text shall prevail in the case of a dispute.

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We reserve the right, at Our sole discretion, to modify or replace these Terms at any time. If a revision is material We will make reasonable efforts to provide at least 30 days' notice prior to any new terms taking effect. What constitutes a material change will be determined at Our sole discretion.

By continuing to access or use Our Service after those revisions become effective, You agree to be bound by the revised terms. If You do not agree to the new terms, in whole or in part, please stop using the website and the Service.

Contact Us

If you have any questions about these Terms and Conditions, You can contact us:

By email: chriszekefixeseverything@gmail.com

Remember

Building. It's about getting around the obstacles that are presented to you -Jeremy Renner---A busy mind and a busy body is a MUST if you want to pass on a life well built. After all If you aren't constantly building, leaving the universe evidence of your existence and betterment by the day then you're just bullsh*trying. And no one likes a bullsh*tter-Zeke--Well, in my defence they do make squirrels and field mice bitesize, and if not to bite or chew, just what would be the point?-Stella Bella confetti face Houdini it's simple to be a good human. smile. if you hurt someone say you're sorry. don't hit people. Pick up your messes. don't cheat. don't lie. pay your way.